Lost Coin class notes September 25, 2007

*Administrative*

Scott will be coming back to the group, and has also managed to take his first vacation!  (?!!!?)

A *Deseret News* reporter would like to do a story on the group, and might come to one of the next two meetings.  Daniel will review the article before publication and will ask the reporter not to use our names, if we'd like.

*October 8:*  We will meet on Monday, the 8th, because Daniel is leaving on Tuesday the 9th.

*Week in Review*

We all talked about what we'd observed during the past week.

One member noted that she had tried during the week to cut off conversations that were going on too long, and had had success with averting her eyes or making a direct statement that she needed the conversation to end. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.  She learned that it's okay for her to get what she wants, so long as she's treating others in a respectful way.

Another member, who had observed last week that she can be mercurial with those around her, tried to be more even-keeled.  She found that she had to slow down and that most of the tension she felt she created in others was caused by too-rapid thought.  Slowing down was the key.  She was also struck, again, by how differently she treats her life partner from the way she treats the rest of the world.

One student said he had realized he has to be clear about what he wants and to pay attention to himself and other people.  He told about the weekend he'd just spent with his parents, and how he'd realized how much of their personalities were part of his mechanical behaviors.  He also saw how his father had interacted in a negative way with a police officer, and noticed how much his father's negativity was driven by an emotional response.

Nearly everyone mentioned that "slowing down" worked well for them during the week.  Daniel observed that when you slow down, you can see more.

Another student observed that she sexualized her relations with other people.  Daniel noted that mechanical actions can actually diminish your value because your real self isn't being seen.  He used the example of meeting women who (based on learned, societal, mechanical behaviors) would laugh at everything he said and would smile all the time.  He found that women who didn't do those things were the ones he found most attractive--they were just people.  (Daniel later followed up on this discussion by noting that wanting to be attractive to others isn't in itself a bad thing, but the most important thing is to understand that that's not enough to make you truly happy with your self.)

Several times we discussed one student's desire for a healthy, loving relationship, and how she wasn't sure how to start looking for one.  She mentioned that she be most likely to spend time at the library or a bookstore, and Daniel pointed out that activities centered around books were a wonderful way for her to meet like-minded men -- and pointed out that doing the things she loved would also make her more satisfied with her life on her own and further her development.  Yes, we were playing schadchen (matchmakers)--but it raised the good point that she would be being true to herself by doing the things she loved.  (For men, the answer is easier:  go to a yoga class.)

*Monastic and Tantric Practice*

Daniel noted that Eastern spirituality is often seen as being about asceticism and renunciation--but that's only one side of it.  There are two major threads, monastic and tantric.  Monastic practice is about what you * don't* do (he used the example of Thai monks who had hundreds of proscriptions).  The tantric form, which is the Fourth Way and Lost Coin approach, is in daily life.  It means you believe you can develop spiritually by moving towards what you actually want.  Growth is accomplished by figuring out what you want, not acting mechanically, and moving towards what you want.

*Aim and Will*

The group then sat for five minutes, contemplating the question "what do you want?"  Daniel asked us to examine that at a gut level.

Everyone shared what it was that they wanted, and Daniel commented on many of the observations.  We then went around again, and talked about what we do to cause or contribute to what it is we want.  Daniel asked, what does it take to get what you want?  What qualities does it take?  We need to consciously develop these qualities.  Several qualities were mentioned: perseverance, discipline, and the overriding theme of being awake and conscious.  Daniel said it comes down to *aim* and *will*.  In order to accomplish something, you have to remember it.  Whatever you came up with today as the thing you want, make it your aim.

He clarified that "aim" is not just consciousness, it's working toward something specific.  Whatever helps you achieve your aim is good; whatever doesn't is bad.

After talking about will, Daniel said that the next thing is to hold your aim very close to you and be ruthless in deciding that you're going to do it *no matter what*.  He used the example of how friends and people at the Zen center would always ask him why he had spent so many years in Zen practice, when he hated everything (sitting, the politics, some of the people, getting up so early, etc.).  He did hate everything--but he had formed the idea that he'd do the full Zen training, so he did it.  It was the same with his martial arts study; he hated getting hurt so often, but was determined to follow through and excel.

Work on one aim at a time, and understand that you might not always like it.

*Assignment for Next Week*

Try to limit your talking (be "consciously talkless").  This can mean not talking when you want to, or talking less than you normally would.  See what happens when you do this.

Talk less, will more.

(*Taking Huge Liberties With the Notes*)

Totally unauthorized addition.  The whole question of "what we want" always makes scraps of this poem float around in my head, so I thought I'd add it. (No endorsement by Daniel, the Fourth Way, or the Estate of G.I. Gurdjieff is given, whether express or implied.)

*What We Want*

What we want
is never simple.
We move among the things
we thought we wanted:
a face, a room, an open book
and these things bear our names--
now they want us.
But what we want appears
in dreams, wearing disguises.
We fall past,
holding out our arms
and in the morning
our arms ache.
We don't remember the dream,
but the dream remembers us.
It is there all day
as an animal is there
under the table,
as the stars are there
even in full sun.

*Linda Pastan*
